I joined a boat club. It’s located in Cortez, which is the fishing village just across the bay from Bradenton Beach, my old home town. This way I don’t own a friggin boat of my own, thank God. You may remember me bitching about my wreck of a scow, the Piraya. That’s Swedish for Piranha. I had that piece of poop barge for about 20 years. It only ran three. I put two engines in it. What a hunk of crapola. Hurricane Isabel came through 15 years ago. When I first looked out my window in the morning I thought the filthy scow had sunk. I was so fantastically happy for about 30 seconds or so until I saw the sickening poop laden piece of pig crap floating nearby. It’s like thinking you won the lottery and then find out you were holding the ticket upside down.