Continuing The Science of a New Life by John Cowan M.D.

You maidens out there would do well to consider the consequences of marrying a man of low character. Look for a man of quality. Like me, for example. Take Dr. Cowan’s advice:

More tomorrow.

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The Science of a New Life by John Cowan M.D.

Hey, this is a great book full of useful information, especially for young women who may be contemplating marriage and the propagation of our species. It originally belonged to my Grandmommy Sutton. The crazy one. She was born in 1877 and someone probably gave it to her when she was getting ready to , you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

OK, it was published in 1869, but things really haven’t changed that much when it comes to wink wink nudge nudge. I’m pretty sure she didn’t get the book before she got married, because my grandfather smoked like a used tire dump on fire.

More tomorrow. Or Monday.

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My House on the Chesapeake…

Was built in 1896. At least the first part of it was. Over the years the owners added rooms, changed room functions, changed doors, etc. Frank Lloyd Write would have shot himself. And when we got there three weeks ago, it smelled like an old house. You know that smell? It had been closed up for six months or so. It’s ok now. We scrubbed everything from top to bottom and I washed and waxed all the floors. But I figured out what the main source of the odor was. My old books. I mean ancient books. They stunk like Dracula’s sarcophagus. (See below)

Somebody liked poetry. And look at this:

George Gordon Lord Byron. Two copies no less, falling apart. Actually, when I was a teenager I read another book of Byron. It was much bigger than those two. I  read Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage. I read it over the summer months. I was probably 14. When I was 15 I read the Bible, and when I was 16 I read The Canterbury Tales. I was quite literate way back when. But look at the inside of the one Byron here:

You’d need the Palomar Telescope to read that sucker.

More about The Science of a New Life by John Cowan MD tomorrow.

Ever wonder why I got thrown out of newspapers?

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Hello, Thursday

Last night I was so tired from my trip that I slept ten hours. We senior citizens need our rest. Continuing the spooky Halloween story…






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Yes, I got back to Paradise today, Wednesday, at noon. And Happy to be here. I had a heck of a time posting. I’m taking my Macboo0k Air into the shop tomorr0ow to see if they can fix it.

Meantime, remember me ranting about Rawleigh’s Antiseptic Healing Salve, Good for Man and Beast? By the way, you can still buy the stuff online. Click here. Look what Frau Grace found in our shack up there on the Chesapeake:

Yes, it’s Watkins Teat Petro-Carbo Salve, “Teat” written in by my dear departed mother. But that’s nothing. Check it out:

Yes, it’s Vermont’s Original Bag Balm. If you can’t read the instructions:

Wow! It’s even got a picture of cow boobs on the label.

Since 1899 even! Keep it away from children. That’s a no-brainer. Hey, read this side of the can.

See that last line about how it contains no alcohol? Let me tell you, if your cow has chafed, blood-red teats with superficial abrasions, and you dip those suckers in a can of rubbing alcohol, you’re going to end up with a big hole in the roof of your barn. For sure.

What’s today? Wednesday?




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I’m on the train to Florida

the WiFi on the train isn’t working and I’ve had a heck of a time getting on line. Tomorrow I hope to be back to normal.







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I messed up again

Yesterday was Sunday. I thought it was Monday. Here’s another Sunday from 2013. I’ll continue the Halloween story tomorrow. I think. I’ll be on a train heading south.



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I think I screwed up


as usual. I think I didn’t post the Friday gag in my story about Doris getting a job. But, heck, I’m an old guy, and if you took an X-ray of my brain it would look like a Google map of Southern Mississippi. Here’s the Thursday strip about Doris’ job. I think.

Hey, you old guys reading this, you know what I’m talking about. My old friend, Tropical Jack, was here, and we must have killed a couple gallons of Old Havana Rum. I don’t know if I didn’t post the old Thursday strip, but here it is anyway.

Ok. About 6 months ago Lisa asked me to post this very scary Halloween story…

That “”K-TAK Boom” came from Mad Magazine from when I was a kid. I think it was a Will Eisner story about Frankenstein.

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Missed a day




Wednesday I’ll Be back home and doing a better job. just now my old friend Tropical Jack is visiting here on the Chesapeake. He was the first friend that I met when I moved to the Washington DC area 40 years ago. I had my last honest job for a short while teaching physics and calculus at Montgomery College in Rockville Maryland. One course was a three hour basic physics lab. The students used to turn the clock ahead an hour so they could get out early. It worked.


Here is yesterday’s post and today’s…

Oops. That one didn’t make the cut…

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A Few More Days in the Boondocks

Doris is still having problems with the sexist pig American workplace…




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