Today’s Cooking Lesson

As everybody knows, I’m the world’s greatest chef. It’s a wonder I’m not in Paris slinging hash for Jacques Chirac or whoever their president is now or somebody. Ok, maybe you don’t believe me, but here’s something you can believe. I made spaghetti and clam sauce the other day. Look what happens when you drain a can of Bumble Bee clams:

I also happen to be a world class clammer. I have a spot on the Northern Shore of Long Island you wouldn’t believe.

Check out these Vidalia onions I roasted the other day:

They look mighty delicious! At least to me they do.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

For Want of Anything Better…

Here’s a selfie of my pajama bottoms. I took it just now. ( By the way, what is among the few words that the English ever incorporated into their language from all those years that they ruled India? All I can think of is “pajamas”, “curry” and “mongoose”. It’s like the Romans when they ruled Britain. Very few words from the British Isles were incorporated into Latin.)

That’s my action half, and underneath is my Homer Simpson underpants. Here in Bradenton We don’t have very much in the way of department stores. We have Beall’s (by the way I went to high school with Bob Beall. More about that later) , and we have KMart and Walmart. Bealls didn’t have anything that would fit me, and this what they had at Walmart:

Notice anything those products have in common? Right. They’re all L, XL or bigger. No kidding. I didn’t even try KMart. (By the way, I’m a Medium. )

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Back to Loinfruit’s Theory…

Terry Reed gave me this link in Comments. I think it’s right on.

A pretty bad case of the humans






Have you noticed that since everyone carries a cell phone with a camera nowadays, all those alien abductions have ended? See, the aliens are smart. They don’t want people taking pictures.

The mention of the political convention has to do with the fact that 1992 was an election year. Ernie would rather be tortured by aliens than watch the convention.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Ernie Is Kidnapped!










Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments


I was asked to post this story about when Zerblat showed up. I have three new collections ready to publish. This story from  1992 is in one of them. But I’ll be a nice guy and post it. I hope to have all the dailies published by the end of next year. I have to get everything approved by King Features (why do you think they call it a ) syndicate. I hope somebody buys a few of them. Geeze






Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Loinfruit’s Theory

Did I ever explain Loinfruit’s theory behind all the earthquakes and forest fires and volcanoes and tornadoes and hurricanes and you name it? Loinfruit believes that our Mother Earth is a sentient being, not in the way that we envision life to be, but the earth has life of a sort that we can’t understand. Right now Earth knows that she is sick. She has an infection, and all the terrible natural events that we’ve been experiencing is her way of curing her disease. If you think about it, when we get sick with an infection, we become full of germs, bacteria and/or viruses and/or amoebas etc. Our bodies naturally try to kill and flush out the microbes. Earth  is sick and she is doing the same thing. And guess what the germs are. Any comments?

Here’s a Sunday from 1994. Sorry, I don’t have the color files for the early Sundays.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Mother Sid

  Here’s the rest of Sid the nun. I really loved this story. Next week I promised a reader that I post the first Zerblat story. Stay tuned Monday.








Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment


At least I think it’s Friday.

I have to put a photo in here to get the comic strip below  date stuff on the right.

These were two of my friends during my first year in graduate school. Jimmy, on the left, passed away about 7 years ago. Louie Capone, in the middle, was my roommate as an under graduate. He was an interesting fellow. And yes, he said that his grandfather was Al Capone’s cousin. He had a nearly photographic memory. When he was a kid he was scheduled to go on the TV show The $100,000 Challenge. I think that’s what it was called. His topic was baseball statistics. He knew all there was to know. Unfortunately the Charles Van Doren scandal came along, and both the $64,000 Question and Louie’s show were cancelled. And Louie was legally blind. He had about 5% vision in one eye. But he could remember everything he ever saw. I used to sit there with him, and we’d do physics homework together. I’d have to read the problems. He went on to earn a PhD in physics at the University of  Florida. Not only was he blind, he had a terrible congenital heart condition. Between his junior and senior years he had open heart surgery and recovered. He never told me that he was going to have it done. Before that, if you listened to his heartbeat, it sounded like a washing machine. His father had the same operation that summer and died. He had one serious medical crisis after another. And he’s the one who introduced me to and started my love for opera. I collected old red seal RCA 78’s in junk stores. Back then you could still find them. When we parted I gave him all my old classical records. Some of them turned out to be quite the collectors items. I particularly recall Caruso’s Vecchia Zimarra and and aria by Ricardo Strachiari. Back in 1972 I visited him in California. I doubt if he is still alive. God bless him.

That’s U No Hoo on the right.

The Flying Nun was a TV sitcom in the late sixties. It starred Sally Field. It was really stupid, but it was popular. I think I watched half of one episode.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

It’s Thursday and it’s raining barrels

This summer, over all, it’s been hotter in the Northeast than it’s been in Florida. If you’re  up there, why don’t you move down here and cool off?

You never know, there might be some good aspects to climate change. Maybe Florida will become a paradise weather-wise in the summer as well as in the winter. Maybe the Sahara Desert will become a fertile plain. Maybe.

I think I got out of proper sequence with the Sister Sid story. I’m picking up where I left off yesterday.

In case you don’t know, Ripple is a fortified wine that bums seem to like. It’s like Mad Dog 20-20 (Mogen David. The 20-20 has to do with the achohol content, 20%)

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Another blast from the past

I don’t have anything new today, so here’s a cartoon from my Guess Who Got Lucky book:

I drew the cartoons in that book about 35 or 36 years ago.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment