Earl’s Behavioral Difficulties 3

My local community swimming pool regulations. I highlighted the most important part.

 

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Earl’s Behavioral Difficulties 2

I grow herbs, you know, about like I grow tomatoes that I showed you yesterday. One thing I’ve grown for some time is summerwood. It’s related to wormwood. Wormwood is what they make to make absinthe. When I was young absinthe made people go nuts and die early and give them short legs (e.g. Toulouse Lautrec). I use it to make aquavit. That’s Scandinavian for “water of life”. You dry the stuff and then you put it into a bottle of cheap vodka, and voila, in a week or so you have a bottle of “water of life” that you would probably have to pay ten or twelve bucks for at the ABC.

Did I ever tell you about the time when I was in college, and I and my two buddies, Freddy and Jerome, pooled our meager resources and bought a bottle of vodka and a watermelon. It was a lot of money. I lived on ten bucks a week. We heard from the local rednecks that vodka watermelon made a terrific summer cool down. This was in Tallahassee, Florida, and it gets mighty hot there. We plugged the watermelon, and I was surprised how easy it was to pour in the entire bottle. We let it sit for a day or two to let the ingredients integrate and mellow out. It was the worst crap I ever tried to eat in my life outside of that smalahove I had years ago in Trondheim, Norway.

Since we had no money and we couldn’t eat the watermelon, we decided that we should at least retrieve the vodka. We squeezed the melon through one of Freddy’s socks. Well, that didn’t taste too good either. We had to throw it away and go without food for a day or two.

What I did when I made that last batch of aquavit, was I got my dried tarragon mixed up with my dried summerwood. Tarragon aquavit is pretty putrid. But poulet a l’estragon (chicken tarragon) is pretty tasty. I made Frau Grace a chicken and tarragon aquavit cocktail. She didn’t like it. (That’ a chicken leg bone in the drink. Frau Grace didn’t think it was funny.)

 

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Earl’s Behavioral Difficulties 1

I’ve been beautifying the joint. Check out some of my recent plantings:

Persian shield alternated with lantana:

Ok, they’re not much now, but wait 10 or 12 years. I use those buckets to collect rain water. I use it to make my tea and coffee. Am I cheap or what? My lovely yellow hibiscus:

That’s heather next:

I have a couple of them.  This is kalanchoe. Whatever the heck that is. Another Frau Grace project. She bpought six of them.

Golden dew drop. I planted two of them. They are supposed to get beautiful golden berries. And it attracts humming birds. We’ll see.

Frau’s orchids are blooming:

Big deal. Check out my beautiful tomato plant!

Seriously, the secret is don’t buy cheap garden soil or potting mix. A lot of what they sell is just decomposed mulch. After this I’m only using Miracle Grow.

Back in 1992 Earl almost got thrown out of the Piranha Club:

 

 

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Cow Joke

See these shorts? I’ve had them for about 40 years.

I used to have a purple pair just like them. I guess the purple ones  finally got too ragged to wear. I wish I could find shorts  like them today. Maybe if I went to a gay boutique.

Yesterday I helped a lady jump start her car in the supermarket parking lot. She told me to come by the Bradenton Farmer’s Market today and she’d give me a free jar of the best salsa ever created. I happened to be near there this morning. The lady wasn’t there, but her husband was. He said “Are you Buddy?” Any way I got some of the world’s best salsa free. I haven’t tried it yet.

This lady paints glass. It’s very nice:

 

stoneware

Lots of stuff and music…

As we all know, Enos accepts a wide variety of patients. This is from April of 2000. My notes say that it was inked by my assistant at that time, Jay Scruggs. If you have the 2003-2004 collection, his work starts out the book. He could draw much better than I. Now days he’s an executive vice president of a very major architectural firm, head of the Washington D.C. Office. He’s a great person and he’s also extremely talented.

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Another Day in Paradise 6

Love letters in the sand…

This guy was a talker. He started telling me his whole life story. After ten minutes or so I had to walk away. He was still talking when I was halfway up the beach. I didn’t meet his wife of 46 years. She must be deaf.

Thad H asked for this one. It’s from 2002. Reminds me of my college days…

 

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Another Day in Paradise 5

Remember that girl from yesterday trying to toss the football. There’s a reason she wasn’t very good at it. She’s English. First time out of Manchester. The temperature on the beach was about 73ºF. That’s 23º C…

Another one from 2000…

 

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Another Day in Paradise 4

Chris M had a problem when he posted a comment. Somehow somebody else’s photo was tagged as his image. He figured out what happened, and you may be interested if it’s happened to you. Here’s what he wrote:

I asked a guru type who manages a number of sites.  He said that google or something like it found the image, did a facial match to me (it’s not far off) and puts into wordpress sites and others as a ‘helpful thing’.  Insert FAGA conspiracy theory here…

He emailed me later and said this:

OK it should go away now but might take a little while  The source was gravatar.com who was hosting the thumbnail and they helpfully got it from google.  No passwords or permissions needed, you just use the email address and have them send a link to it.  Follow it and you can change or whack images.  There’s no provision for adding a password, either for them or wordpress.  So at some point several years ago while in south of France at a Russian hotel, my email got compromised and may have been the original cause.  If Boris or Natasha come calling, I’ll send them to you guys.

Thanks, Chris.

As I was saying yesterday, Manatee Beach is really nice. The entire beach the length of Anna Maria Island is tops. One reason is that there are no high-rises allowed on the Island. It makes it really pleasant. The Manatee Beach, unlike Coquina Beach at the south end of the Island, has a tiki bar…

Did you catch Loinfruit? And more about that girl in the yellow bikini tossing the football tomorrow.

Here’s gag from January 1, 2000…

You’ll notice that I didn’t draw my pee pee. Hey, I got class!

 

 

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Another Day in Paradise 3

This beach is on Anna Maria Island right at the end of Manatee Avenue. I cant tell you how many times I walked miles up and down the beach when I was a teenager. When I was a kid we called it the Public Beach. Now they call it Manatee Beach.

Way back when, the pavillion was flat on top. There was a staircase that went down to the beach. That big lifeguard stand wasn’t there, and the beach was much narrower, maybe 150 feet wide rather than 500 feet. The beach has been replenished a few times since then. Anna Maria Island has one of the most beautiful  and pleasant swimming beaches in the world. A little more tomorrow.

For those of you whose link in “Oh My God” doesn’t work…. I’m going to gag…

Here’s a silly joke from 2000:

 

 

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Another Day in Paradise 2

Check out the cormorant who bit off more than he could chew.

I suspect that someone threw that fish to him. That’s Loinfruit doing the sound effects.

Here’s another gag, this one from2012.  Babies are so impressionable.

 

 

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Another Day in Paradise 1

It doesn’t get any better than this…

German Beer and Tullamore Dew!

Enos’ patient is having a little trouble shedding the pounds…

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