Really time for a tune-up

I do things that other people don’t do. Here’s an example, If the recipe says to heat the oven to 350º, I never do that. I feel sorry for the oven temperatures that never get picked.  I feel sorry for them. It’s like when you’re a kid and you don’t get picked on a side to play baseball. I roast stuff at 354º or maybe 348º or maybe 357º. Frau Grace thinks I’m nuts.

I was buying vegetables yesterday and I saw this poor deformed cucumber:

I felt so bad for it. Nobody else would ever buy it. It would just end up in the dumpster. Well, I can’t let stuff like that happen. I bought it and brought it home. But I feel so sorry for it that I can’t bring myself to kill it and eat it.


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A couple things…

Fred E’s dairy farm in Pennsylvania has finally made the big time. He sent this article. Way to go Fred. Yank an udder for me.


Sven L. sent me a link to a new work of political satire. He claims he didn’t write it.

An acquaintance of mine just wrote a hilarious political satire. Since the author wishes to remain anonymous, I agreed to publish it. Link below. It is a hilarious story. But I need to warn you: it is political satire, and it is not suitable for those who are offended by humor, including but not limited to satire.

The story is about a group of college students who accidentally derail the legislature’s efforts to raise taxes. They even put an end to the governor’s presidential campaign. By pure accident, of course. They really didn’t plan to do so – it, well, just happened. But since all of this is fiction, that didn’t happen either. Of course.

What state did this happen in, you ask? Well, since none of this happened, it all happened in the state of Fillmore. Which, obviously, is purely fictional. So are the characters in this book. Any similarities between these fictional characters and events, and people and events in real life, are obviously purely coincidental. But if these characters had been real, they would have lived somewhere near you. Which they aren’t, so they didn’t. Obviously.

Governor Bland Feeblebottom has never existed. But if he had existed, he would have wanted to sign the Awesome Tax Grabification Act. And become president.

State House Speaker Tony Limpono has never existed. But if he had existed his soul would have been as pure as the wind-driven snow.

Senate President Sprout Bribell has never existed. But if he had existed, he would not have used his elected position to benefit his son’s hotel business.

Professor Blabbert has never existed. But if he had existed, he would have chaired the Great Big Center for Very Important Studies at the State University College Kampus in Millard.

Dick Lapland has never existed. But if he had existed, he would have killed Governor Feeblebottom’s presidential campaign. Unintentionally, of course. Obviously.

Todd Salmon has never existed. But if he had existed, he would have taken a nap in the back seat of his Yugo.

Lord Broadbeam has never existed. But if he had existed, he would have gotten stuck in the door to Shirky the Hungarian’s dorm room.

The city of Millard has never existed. But if it had existed, it would have been the capital of the state of Fillmore.

The state of Fillmore has never existed. But if it had existed it would be a state near you. Which it didn’t, so it isn’t. Obviously.

The author wishes to stress that this book is pure fiction. None of this could ever happen. Obviously.

This is from this day in 1994.

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I was sorry to hear about the passing of Prince Phillip. But on the bright side, Queen Elizabeth can start dating again.


Here’s  little tidbit: According to, in Florida it’s against the law to fart in public after 6 PM. Just in case you’re thinking of visiting, I wouldn’t want you to land in the slammer.

Last time I posted the same strip as the day before. Here’s what it should be.


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Party Down!

Love good music? Love to dance?

Delores Does the Duck






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More on toxic wastes near me

These are screen shots from Google Earth. At the top of this shot is the leaking pond. I’m at the bottom of the yellow line. It’s 10 1/2  miles .

Below is the area just north of Gibsonton. You can see the waste ponds on top of the mountains of tailings. Just to the west of this is MacDill AFB. See the islands, especially the one at the top. It has a mountain of tailings.

Here’s a blow-up. Just to give you an idea of scale, the mound at the top right is a mile and a half long, and it’s very high. At the bottom left is the phosphate plant.

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I’m so proud!

Manatee County, that’s where I grew up and live now, hit the national news again, the second time in two months. Of course the firstwas when the Gov sent the extra Covid doses to the rich neighborhood*. Now we have our little version of the Love Canal. Even when I was a kid as we drove up US 41, just past the Giant’s Camp (Gibsonton), you could see the huge mountain of phosphate tailings sitting on the shore of Tampa Bay. By the way, it’s still there and bigger than ever. I just looked at Google Earth. I didn’t know there were huge holding ponds on top of it. But the holding pond that is leaking is south of there in Manatee County. About 20 years ago the phosphate company was in violation of pollution standards. The solution was simple, they just watered down the toxic waste so it wasn’t so concentrated. So they are going to drain the waste into Tampa Bay. I hope all the nitrogen doesn’t set off another wave of red tide. And I hope it doesn’t kill too many fish. Or manatees. There are a lot of industrial sites in Florida which are just waiting for a disaster to happen.

*Don’t accuse me of getting political. This is simply a fact.

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Happy Monday


From 1994:

We bought a 9 inch RCA cabinet tv in September of 1947. It had tv, 78 rpm record player that even took the huge 78’s, and a multi-band radio. My sister still has it. My old man wanted to watch the World Series. Actually, he sent my mother downtown with the cash. We didn’t have much money, but he never ever bought anything on time. He even paid cash for our house. That was just before I was born in 1946. The house cost $5000. The tv cost $1100.

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Happy Easter

And my orchids are blooming. South Florida is the perfect climate.

The cattalya is especially nice.

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