I just realized that I hadn’t checked my email in the past ten days. Oops. Here are a few good one-liners from Phillip B:
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them lying on the kitchen counter, and then guess what’s on the list when I am at the store.
I relabeled all of the jars in my wife’s spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
I asked a supermarket employee where they kept the canned peaches. He said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. I asked another & he also said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. In the end, I gave up & found them myself, in Aisle C.
A guy walks into a lumberyard & asks for some 2x4s. The clerk asks, “How long do you need them?” The guy answers, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
So, my neighbor knocked on my front door at 3 a.m. 3AM!!! Luckily, I was already up playing the bagpipes.
I too was once a male trapped in a female body…but then my mother gave birth.
Someone said, “Nothing rhymes with orange.” I said, “No, it doesn’t.”